yesterday morning a couple people were crossing the street as i was, one of them lifted his fist in the air, grinned at me, i said GOOD MORNING and he said GET IT IN and it felt like he was honoring that i dragged my ass out of bed and hit the pavement.
on this run i learned that the NYPD’s evidence warehouse in red hook burned to the ground three months ago. an e-bike started the fire. no one was killed. for some reason this made me happy. i don’t hope for violent bureaucracies to face their own idiocy, but i do wish for (and hope to practice towards) their obsolescence. i am tickled when the idiocy is exposed for all to see. i am also mindful and grieve the fact that this may complicate people’s trials/ability to come home from jail and prison. i am not anticipating the NYPD throwing their hands up and realizing it doesn’t make sense to keep people in cages anymore (evidence or not), but that would be beautiful. we’re not ready to let surveillance, evidence, go. so far calamities don’t lead to different choices.
to wish for the obsolescence of the carceral state without practice is just wishing. the police really are in my emotional architecture. adrienne maree brown and mia mingus invited me to notice where i am practicing punishment in my relationships and in myself. i am practicing it copiously. it was a hard and needed pill. and the vitamin might be what about curiosity or care or grace instead?
my friend yesterday threw a little piece of the yucca fries we were eating to some tiny birds near by, and said loudly “yes! go get it brother” and i really found this hilarious.
i don’t know how this ties together. birds can subsist on crumbs because they are little. people cannot. i would like to offer more than crumbs — literal or emotional. i saw someone wearing a shirt that said i rebuke the bare minimum which i found rather corny but has also stayed with me for weeks.
crumbs, little bits, also add up. little kindnesses. and we also deserve more. maybe we stretch a little. little by little.
one meaning of evidence is “ground for belief” and what goes on this ground now? where that (ware) house used to be? a garden? a mural? a library? a free clinic? a food pantry? a public art space? i’m sure you have a good idea, the tiny birds probably do too.
encouragement is offered in both directions, in many languages, even as i’m crumbling.