on friday night i was out with my sister and her friend just chopping it up and i saw a comedian who i admired. i had seen him perform at 50 First Jokes, a show where comedians tell their first “joke” of the year aka do a super short 1 - 2 minute set. he had riffed on all the comedians who went before him and it was so smart and really a riot and i felt awestruck. i fangirled to my company and my sister told me to tell him to his face (!). she said if you think a good thought you should not keep it to yourself. i was hesitant, i didn’t want to be annoying, or mess up his evening, or be the amorphous weird. i wondered if it was creepy that i remember his performance six months later. when we were leaving i decided to say something, thank’s to my sister’s insistence. he said thank you so much for saying something, that set was such a risk for me personally.
on this podcast, Alexis Pauline Gumbs talked about how there was a time in her life when the worry about seeming awkward or weird dissuaded her from expressing gratitude and love to the people around her(ahem). She said one of grief’s lessons is acting on every opportunity to express “to do it in sound, to be in vibration” because there’s no real excuse not to.
it’s good when sisters are stronger than egos.