i am making my way through season 3 of The Bear (spoiler alert?), and i’m struck by how much can be communicated without dialogue. they really know something about conveying the internal wars going on inside of people; there are so many lingering shots that catch facial expressions that are ridden with emotion.
as someone who cares a lot about words and language it’s refreshing to be reminded that they also don’t matter as much as presence.
episode 3 opens with Marcus’s mother’s funeral. we watch the faces of many of the restaurant staff, so much happens without any word or action. Marcus gives the eulogy, struggling to keep his composure at points, eyes piercing.
he describes the same quality of attention which the makers of the show offer. at one point he reflects,
I always felt loved. It didn’t matter what was going on, or if I was in trouble, or whatever. I knew she was listening. And she knew I was listening too. She was sick and even though she couldn’t speak, it almost felt sometimes like that communication was better. Like we really had to pay attention to each other and look really closely at each other. I don’t know what it’s like to be a parent. But I know what it’s like to be a kid and having someone actually really pay attention to you. That was really special.
it is so simple and it is so not simple. there are so many forces that seize my attention, that corrupt my capacity to listen and to look. and, this art, this character reminds me that it is possible, that it is really the only pursuit.
i wonder what might shift if i trusted someone would be listening and looking, what might fall away if i committed to offering that back.