yesterday i started a 6 week long meditation practice guided this generous person Gibran Rivera. he said a lot of startlingly profound things in our first call but one of them was that no one escapes the sheer terror of being alive. lol. you can’t meditate enough..help enough people..be “good” enough…etc to get out of how painful it is to be incarnated…there’s no avoiding the discomfort of living life on life’s terms, even though we have all of our temporary distractions.
this was very awkward for me because that is why i signed up for this practice hello!! i’m being slightly facetious but on some level i think that’s what i am doing unconsciously sometimes…if i become awakened enough, do enough good deeds, prostrate myself (which is honestly fittingly dramatic) will this shit hurt less? and the answer is no, but maybe there’s freedom to be found in less running from it….
on thursday i learned that peacocks can jump…….
in the park on friday there was a daschund wearing a white fleece backpack…..and on sunday i learned that if you buy your own bowling ball the finger holes have to be carved specifically to your hand………….there’s not a whole lot to do in arkansas apparently….
this quote was on the wall in a bar bathroom recently: “You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is.” (Charles Bukowski)
riding anything requires an intentional relationship with gravity…a bike..a horse…there’s a surrender and a trust that’s needed, and a balance.
we fight for it.