I guess I should start by saying that I'm not really a dog person. I rode the D train (orange seats) home from the Upper West Side to Brooklyn around 630 pm or so on Sunday evening. This time of year it's still light out at that time, golden hour even. Before we went over the bridge, a woman with a back pack and a suitcase and a tiny black and brown dog got on the train. She sat on the seat facing the middle of the car, across from me, to her right was an up-to-the-arrival-of-the-small-dog serious looking, youngish guy. The dog sat on her lap and then proceeded to shoot beams of interest and warmth out of his eyeballs at this guy, and then at me. You've seen it - dogs looking directly at the bottom most reaches of your soul without so much as a flinch. I could see dog's lower teeth. He was essentially grinning; grinning and panting. The guy and I smiled at each other, baffled. We looked at the dog looking at us. Then another guy (rico suave, cheetos minis in cannister in water bottle holder of backpack) and a teenager got in the car together (related somehow, teen with nintendo ds in hand). Rico suave sat on the perpendicular seat by me and teenager sat next to first guy. When first guy got off the train they both shifted to the seats perpendicular to woman and dog, and proceeded to acquaint themselves. Rico suave pet the dog very gently and said things to the dog and the woman that I couldn't hear because of headphones but it was all very friendly. Then rico suave took a picture of the view as we started going over the bridge. Then golden light filled the train car. What a shit show. Then we went back underground.
Tiny dog with big dumb grin, panting, had set off a gigantic storm (in me) of total endearment. I have this condition where sometimes I feel like I am going to die of tenderness. It's hard here, kind of impossible. I don't really know how we do it. But for a moment I saw all the people in the train how the dog looked at them, that is, totally precious and interesting. I saw them adored. And because (god help me) I cannot just enjoy a moment like that, I wondered how we might act, how we might treat each other knowing we are always held by an insistent, kind of dumb looking, panting grin? How might we move knowing that the unfathomable affection emanating from eyeballs of lapdog can be called on at any time?
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