went upstate this weekend, saw so many BLUE and YELLOW and WHITE and PURPLE wildflowers, saw three geese jog together and a temporarily dilapidated monarch who i chased off the middle of the road. i worked with a guy named Chachi who was, as they say, ebullient. i stayed in an airbnb with not one but two Frida Kahlo pillows. there was a special basket on the floor for the pillows for when you go to sleep because have some freaking respect. i asked my host, who is from the lower east side and has given up on finding decent pizza in the area, where i could go swimming and she said,
the big deep
just google it.
i did, and i found it.
the big deep was no more than four feet deep, at least where i was, cold and glorious in the thick july evening. it was deep enough.
the person who parked next to me said is this the way to the big deep it’s my first time here and i said me too but i think so. when i returned another said is this the way i said yes follow that path.
all of us wanting to find the big deep. all of us finding "something we put to work against those forces that dull and diminish us"1 in “a place as gentle as this”2
we dove in, we emerged with nothing to prove.