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Vic Collins is a writer and seminary student based in Princeton, New Jersey. We have known each other since we both went to New Day Church and have stayed connected over the years. They are someone who I feel holds the gravity and the levity of being alive at this time with real grace and generosity. They make me laugh and make me think! I’m talking style, I’m talking rigor, I’m talking verve. Dandelion Child their first book (!!!!) is coming out March 2027 (pre-order here). You can also find them on substack at Patterns and Anomalies.
This interview was conducted on October 6th and has been lightly edited for clarity.
K Well, good afternoon, Vic Collins.
V Hello.
K We can start with just how would you like to introduce yourself to the people
V Um, well, yes. Hello. I am Vic, Collins is my last name. I am currently a seminary student at Princeton Theological Seminary. I also write, have a title [ K - WOOOO] forthcoming in the new year. I've been trying to think about how to describe myself as a writer, the through line that I'm coming to is I write about the process of becoming, and what it means to become, and make home in one's self and wherever I am. So I'm originally from the South, Mississippi. And I went to Ole Miss, after graduating from there, I took off to the city, to the warmth of other suns. And, that was a time. And then I ended up in New Jersey, so kind of a roundabout journey, but I have gone through many iterations of self, or maybe just peeled back the layers of self, like all the things we use to guard ourselves or the armor that we put on, the coping mechanisms, trauma. In moving through life, every new place has invited me to shed a different skin. So yeah.
K Wow, thank you. Onion mode.
V Period
K Thank you for that. It's nice to be invited by places to grow or molt. Next, how is enthusiasm moving through you right now? And what are you feeling enthusiastic about lately or in general?
V I'm enthusiastic about, like, life at this point. Not such a long time ago, that was not the case. It has a lot to do with where I am now. I started at the seminary doing the Master of Theology and Ecology program, which is based at what we call the farminary, which is a farm that the seminary owns, but has now taken on a life of its own. I remember the director of the program who taught one of the first courses, telling us, maybe 12 of us, he was like, pick a tree, and like, you're gonna make friends with your tree over this class, which was maybe four weeks long, a summer class. And I was like, yo, what the fuck? Like, what? [laughs] But I was like, all right, I’ma go chill with this tree. I just picked a random tree and I got quiet for real. And I think maybe after the second time, we knew each other, we had a rapport, you know what I'm saying? My tree was like, you're gonna stay here a while.
K Whoa
V And I was like, aight. Because I'd like to say I came here running, like a fugitive. Like, I was leaving a very chaotic life circumstance when I left New York, which came with all the things, mental health is not great, physical health is not great, emotional health is not great, spiritual health is not great. And yeah, since being here, I have just had the space to lean into the effort and the time that it takes to heal those things. It's not something you can slap a bandaid on, you feel me? So, yeah, man. It's so much quieter here than in New York. Slowing down has really revived my enthusiasm for life and just enjoying myself. Like, being in my own apartment, it's my space. I get to craft the apartment how I want it to look, it really feels like mine. I love coming home at the end of a long day, you know? It's just being in my vibe, in this space that I have curated with my plants and things. I have such gratitude for this place and what it has allowed me, the space it has allowed me to take up. I feel my gratitude is channeled into enthusiasm for what I'm studying, for life, for the people around me, for new experiences. So, yeah, I'm feeling really enthusiastic these days.
K What a testimony. You're kind of, like, glowing and shit over there. There's light coming out of you. Thank you. Okay, we're moving right along here. One etymological root of enthusiasm is Greek, en / theo / seismo, or in God Earthquake. And a character in Valeria Luiselli's book, Lost Children Archive, explains “enthusiasm was a kind of inner earthquake produced by allowing oneself to be possessed by something larger and more powerful, like a god or goddess.” I'm curious how that definition lands for you, and does your creative practice connect you to something larger and more powerful? Or what do you think about that?
V I didn't know about the etymology of the word. And I'm like, wow, yeah that does make sense. You know, there's a branch of theology, a loci of theology, called pneumatology. They be teaching me all kinds of words.
K What is a loci?
V A loci. So, like, within theology, there are many loci, or focuses, around.
K Foci! sorry
V Yes. Foci, yes. Loci, foci, all of them.
K laughs
V In which scholars over time, theologians have based their theological inquiry. So, you know, Christology–what is the nature of Christ? Soteriology, what's the nature of salvation? Pneumatology is the nature of the Holy Spirit, how does the Holy Spirit work? And, yeah, I took this class called The Idea of Pentecost. The Pentecost story in the Bible is this moment where Jesus has been crucified and resurrected and ascended, and now the disciples are left to, you know, sort their shit out. They're like, what we gonna do now? And meanwhile, all of these people, they done heard about Jesus, you know what I'm saying? They're like, hey, what's good? Like, this, we're trying to build on it. And so, they're all in one place called the upper room. And suddenly, the Spirit descends on the people with tongues of fire. And the Spirit is poured out on all flesh, and all the people in the room start speaking all different languages, and everybody can understand one another. And this is the way that in his absence Jesus left his presence, God's presence, with the people through the Holy Spirit. So then Acts has a big epic tale of the disciples going through all the lands, talking to people about Jesus, at times being imprisoned, at times having fights, you know, at times feeling despair, despair with the work that they've been tasked with as followers of Jesus. Yeah, the whole God earthquake, like, Paul on the Damascus Road was Saul, but then a beam of light comes down. He was persecuting Christians, and then a beam of light accosts him, throws him off his horse, and God reveals God's self to him. And then he changes his name to Paul, and, you know, Paul becomes, like, the apostle Paul. So just the idea that the Holy Spirit is this transformative force, this disruptive and transformative force is an idea that I really like. The Holy Spirit subverts expectation, and every being that it moves through, it moves them to see the world in a new way. In fact, people would say about Scripture as well, words are God-breathed, right? And so, it is the Spirit that allows us as readers of the text, the Bible, to be able to see the revelation in it. And if you don't, if the Spirit is not with you, then you can't, it's indecipherable to you, right? Just this idea of the Holy Spirit being this gateway to mystery and yeah, and that mystery not being a bad thing, mystery being something that you lean into and explore and investigate. There's so much shit that I don't know and that is, like, so thrilling, right? That's so amazing, you know.
K Thank God.
V Word. Thank God for real. And I get to investigate and explore and be curious with the people around me, you know what I'm saying? Be curious about what does it look like to be in community? What does it look like to love one another and care for one another? How can we love ourselves better? It generates all these questions that I feel God wants us to be asking, you feel me? So, that's where I feel in my creative practice I am. I'm writing into those questions as I'm thinking, as I'm reflecting on my own narrative of how I have become the person that I am now from, you know, the person that I was when I was 16, living in Mississippi, like, closeted and, you know, all the things. “The Holy Spirit is on the loose,” as my director, Nate Stucky, would say.
K That's beautiful. I love that, on the loose. You know, if I may say, thinking about the Holy Spirit or being possessed by something greater as this, like, destructive but renewing force, I hear that in how you're talking about all your layers that you're shedding, you know? Like, maybe that's the only thing that makes it possible to let go of this stuff that we think we need to carry around, and to trust that there's something on the other side of the earthquake and everything falling apart. Yeah. Which is hard, it does require not feeling attacked by mystery, but, curious about it. Thank you for that. Anyway. Okay. The next question is from June Jordan, who has this beautiful essay collection called Civil Wars. And in the introduction, she writes, “and then if you're lucky, and I have been lucky, everything comes back to you. And then you know why one of the freedom fighters in the 60s, a young black woman interviewed shortly after she was beaten up for riding near the front of an interstate bus. You know why she said we are all so very happy. It's because it's on. All of us and me by myself were on." So I also love this quote. It feels like another way of articulating enthusiasm. And I feel like it folds in more of the political and revolutionary layers that I know we're both invested in. I'm curious how your creative work or writing work relates to your revolutionary slash liberation work? Or like, what is the interplay for you between all of us and me by myself? Yeah. Also, if you want to just speak to what this quote pricks in you.
V It's because it's on. Like, yeah, I mean, it's like, it's because the Holy Spirit's on the loose. Like, you know, like,
K yeah
V No, like, it's on. It's on. Something is going on that is outside of me, but that I get to participate in, and be swept up in, and I'm just a vessel. Like you can beat me up, you can spit my food, you can whatever, you know what I'm saying? But it's on! And there are things happening that are outside of my control and outside of yours, and that's the gotcha gotcha of it is like, that you only think you're in control
K right
V I am of the conviction that, that, yeah, the Holy Spirit has an agenda. And that agenda is liberation. Like, the Holy Spirit is on the loose to move us toward more liberated modes of living. In it being on it's not always like rah rah, you know.
K laughs + groans
V It being on is also like, I'm about to throw myself into the abyss of like, my shit. What has become clear over the last, like, couple of years is the self work, the healing work that we do for ourselves is not only to benefit us, but in service of the people around us. In order for me to be a better neighbor, I have to shed these layers. I have to shed the shit that I've inherited, the maladaptive coping mechanisms, the toxic behaviors, whatever shape that takes because it's preventing me from being a good neighbor. And like, it's on, it's on we gotta be better neighbors to one another and expand who is our neighbor, you know? In writing this book I really gained an appreciation for how many lives have actually touched mine, and how many lives that my life touches because. We're never made, we never become in a vacuum. Becoming is always mediated through the people around us. The world kind of shows us who we are, like, piece by piece, person by person, like, whether it's a person triggering the fuck out of you, and then you being like
[ we got cut off for a second]
V the question was, how does something relate to my creative practice?
K How does the creative practice relate to the freedom practice or the revolutionary practice?
V Right, I think writing has allowed me to connect dots that without that prolonged reflection wouldn't be connected. I wouldn't have the gratitude to be like, damn that person fucked me up, but also made me a better person. Like, glad that's over, that was what it was, and it was for a reason. It was all for my benefit as a human, you know? And learning is a choice. Throughout life, you're presented with many situations and people. If you are on you know, if you're caught up in it, that would compel you towards that type of reflection. But some people are just completely nihilistic about life, like, why even try. I don't know, there's no convincing, there's no persuading those kinds of people about being neighborly, or how important it is to be neighborly, you know what I'm saying? Like, to be better for the world, I think it's a choice that you have to believe that It Is On, there's something way bigger than us at play, and, like, you have to choose to be a part of it, so I feel like that's what my writing is.
K Choosing to be a part.
V Choosing to be on with the thing, like, with the Holy Spirit, you feel me? There are ways that I definitely, I mean, I could go into examples of how. I could talk about addiction and shit like that, like, you know, that deliberate not choosing, and just being caught up in whatever the addiction is, and the first step, in the 12 steps is, like, you gotta choose,
K right
V In order to get free, in order for you to have a shot, any type of shot at getting through these 12 steps, you gotta accept, you gotta be willing to accept, you know, acceptance might take some work, but you at least gotta be willing to accept that, like, damn, I'm off. Wwhatever the substance, the person, you know, the behavior is, like, I'm choosing that over being on. For me, it just got to a point where it was just, like, nah I'm deliberately not listening, you know?
K yeah
V It takes, like, submission, surrender, you know what I'm saying? And, like, yeah, that illusion of control will fuck you up.
K Yeah, it's interesting. I started reading this book called The Anatomy of the Spirit by this person, Caroline Myss. She talks about how our medical system is built on a paradigm of passivity, where okay, I go get a cure from the doctor, and the doctor has all the power, and it doesn't really require the participation of the patient. And she distinguishes between curing and healing, and curing might subside the physical symptoms, but healing is like, no, I'm choosing to feel my own power, or choosing health, which are different. And I hear that in, you gotta choose, like there's no, and she said like you can't accept, or you can't do it for anyone else, you can't forgive someone for someone else. That can get a little murky, like we kind of think we, I don't know, I got a god complex or something, like, oh yeah, if I just did it right or whatever, then these people would be different, blah, blah, blah, anyway.
V Yeah, no.
K Like, nope, wrong again.
V Yeah, nah, like you have to choose for you, and like, and you can want it, you can want freedom for somebody else so fucking bad, but unless they want it,
K yeah. And it's like, it's actually never been someone telling me anything that has made me curious about freedom. It's always people who are just like fucking going hard in the paint with their own shit, and then I'm like, wait, that's an option? I didn't even know that was an option.
V word
K Okay, um, shit's crazy. Well, the last question is, what in your life slash community slash practice slash relationships makes you feel like it's on?
V Yeah, I mean, so many things. You know, I have the ecology background, so like, in one regard, I can be out on the farm, and look around. I used to take care of chickens, right? I injured myself over the summer, so I'm on hiatus. But yeah, I was, for the last two years, I've been chicken tender on the farm.
K Pun nation.
V You feel me?
K I do
V People get a kick out of that. Ah, chicken tender, yes. We get the chicks, they're born in a hatchery somewhere in New Jersey, locally. We grow them from little baby chicks to full mature chickens that, you know, and at the time we butcher them. Ideally, the goal is to care for the chickens, feed them, water them, you know, give them our time, attention, and love, such that this would allow them to live the healthiest, happiest life possible. And we keep them in the pasture, and they have access to, like, fresh grass and bugs and stuff, and they just get so happy when you move them, and they, like, can get new bugs, and then they go crazy. It's kind of like watching a child, like, walk or something like that. I imagine, like, I don't have kids, but I got these chickens, and it's exciting to watch them learn and discover, like, week by week. But, you know, that's ideal, is that, you know, our love and care and attention and our labor would allow them to live the happy, healthy life that, you know, every living being deserves. And then at the time, we get to honorably dispatch them in a way that pays homage to their life. But sometimes, you know, our farm is on a flood plane, and sometimes a heavy, heavy rain will come, and, you know, chickens can't swim. So, there have been times where, you know, I'll go out for morning chores and come upon a scene. Or it can be, you know, the weather is great, and I can come out there one day and find that a fox, a raccoon has made its way into the coop and has made off with some of our chickens. And we can be down on ourselves about the fact that this happened, this loss happened. We can allow it to seem pointless. Like why would we keep these chickens when there are predators? But I think the joy, the humility that you have to inhabit in order to let things be, you know what I'm saying, to be like damn. God bless those chickens. God bless that fox. I hope he got what he needed. And may their deaths not be in vain. And, like, we'll just try and get back out here tomorrow. We'll feed and water and care and love the ones we got left. And that is a posture that I have not only, like, as I'm relating to creation, as I'm relating to other animals, other creatures. It's a posture that I have to have, like, with other people in my life. Like, I can't control. All I can do is try to be the best me I can be. And I feel like my best is always, it's always a different, like, threshold. You feel me?
K yeah
V Like, my best two years ago is not my best today. And the reason for that is other people. The reason for that is the way that I have had to choose to be responsible with my life and with my time and let other people do what they do. And, like, look at myself in that reflection, like, in the mirror that they hold up to me, look at myself and say, damn, I could have handled that better. I could have did that differently, you know, or I feel like I had all the compassion I could. Or, you know, I had to make a hard decision to let this person go because they're going to be them. And, like, what do I do in response? So, it's like it's always on. You can choose to see it in a way where people are always moving to show you something about yourself, which then would hopefully prompt you to think about that. [laughs] And then, you know, adjust the way you present yourself to the world accordingly, you know? So, yeah, like, I think I get that lesson all around, in my work and my studies and in my relationships. Life is always showing you you. I think, like, there's no God that saves a day. There's only a God that holds a mirror to you, like, and, like, you know what I'm saying?
K Whoa, yeah
V Like, that's not what God's for. And people who use God that way make a lot of problems for other people, you know? Like, you know, like, no, like, I think people are your best mirrors because people are the little, a little glimmer of God, you know? All of them, good, bad, ugly, all of them will show you something about you. You can choose to learn or not.
K Amen.
V That's the shit, man.
K Yeah. Wow. That is the shit. wow. God as mirror instead of savior. Look out world. That's powerful. Well, is there anything that you want to plug or say or add?
V Okay, well, you know, this book droppin', Dandelion Child, essays about faith, place and belonging
K yeah go get the book.
V go cop that March, 2027. Yeah, like I was kind of saying, alluding to it's a collection of essays, a memoir. Each essay can stand on its own, is about a particular thing, but together they kind of tell this larger story of my personal evolution and like, yeah, growth, healing journey, something like that. And yeah, I also have a sub stack, it's called Patterns and Anomalies. Follow me. Throw some, those duckets my way. If you feel so compelled. Um, but yeah, that's just, that's it. I'm out here just trying to, just trying to touch lives and create the shit that I feel like I'm on this earth to create. And you know, everything else gon be what it is. You feel me? So I can only do what I can, so that's what I'm doing.
K Well, thank you so much for your time and energy and attention and choices.
V Word. I chose this willingly.